2012 New Years Resolution

So it's almost that time! A new year, a new begining!

Last year, my new years resolution was simply happiness. Lets rewind to 2010 to explain...

2010 was not one of my favorites. It felt like every month somebody I knew was dying - all starting in January. From coworkers to friends parents to family members - everyone! I was never happy in my marriage, but this was one of the worse. After his friends death (from suicide), his attitude had changed tremendously. He himself became suicidal. I've had countless members of my family commit suicide, so this is a very sensitive spot for me. And he knew it. He used it against me. Neither one of us wanted to be with each other, but then he'd try changing his mind. I didn't want him back, he would 'threaten suicide,' I would 'pretend' I wanted him back, so he wouldn't... I mean, this nearly went on for 6 months it felt like! It was so stressful. I felt that if he really did go through it, I would feel guilty for not having done anything. At the same time, I called his bluff. After so long, I couldn't take it and I forwarded the messages to his mother and told her to deal with it - and that was the end of it! It was funny because right when he found out I did that he called me a coward. Coward? I'm not the one throwing a pity party for myself! Anyways, between deaths & fake suicide attempts, I also had to deal with him being a complete horrible person - still jobless, needing money, cheating; you name it. Eventually he began dating some stupid girl and took me off the hook! Thank god!! So he was finally out of my life and we could begin the divorce process, he finally gave up when he realized not even money could buy me back - Yes, he tried to buy my love with $10,000,  I could've been a complete bitch and pretended just to get the money and leave him later, but I hated him so much and this was finally a way out - I declined. So then it was dealing with those awkward conversations of where's your husband, and having to explain that.. then dealing with sleeping in a bed alone. Trying out a stint of relationships, but trusting my instinct so not getting far... Then dealing with a so-called best friend having sex with your husband.

So needless to say, by the end of 2010, I was ready for it to be over! All I kept saying was 2011 will be a good year. And I was sticking to it. I was going to make that happen.

And so it began, a relationship flourished with an amazing man and we began officially dating January 19th. We've been on trips every month, we've made it a requirement, to somewhere new. From San Francisco, Sacramento, Monterrey, VEGAS! - to different entertainments; aquariums, movies, Disneyland, 6 Flags, etc. We have done so much together, and enjoy it to the fullest. It's an amazing feeling to be able to spend time with someone you love and care, and have such an amazing time with! So beside an amazing man in my life, I definitely have the best friends one could ever meet. Good/healthy family. Complete happiness. And that's all I wanted for 2011 - happiness. And I succeeded. I kind-of changed my attitude, as far as money goes. I had a more 'loose' approach; more of, a have fun - don't worry! And it worked. 2011 has been my happiest year - New Years Resolutions DO work!

So, for 2012 my new years resolution is: success. It's a little vague, and not as cliche as the usual 'loose weight' etc resolution. The success will come in many forms. Passing tests needed for becoming a teacher, creating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle and growth in relationships. I feel confident, and excited to begin the new year. I know I will be successful.